Everything. Love, taste the word, take it in your mouth, feel it roll around your tongue. I used to believe that it was nothing but a romantic faerytale stolen by Hollywood and turned into an urban myth, but the older I get, the more I see how intricate patterns of love shape my life, probably more than my education or career ever will. I seem to return to this subject from time to time as I am once again taken by melancholia, sentimentality and fluffy emotions, so this will probably just be the first of many entries on the subject of Love. Please, remember, dear reader, that I never, ever use the word in its uninclusive, monogamous meaning. Love does not necessarily dictate ownership.
So, this is my weekly declaration of Love. Letapos;s get personal.
Dear partner in life. I love you. I love your dry humour, your low-key intellectualism, your subtle way of being both friend and lover while never making the mistake of thinking there is a difference except in the act itself. Your sensualism and tolerance never cease to amaze me, not does your tender way of accepting my very being, and every possible part of it. You leave for Iceland tomorrow. I will miss you, but I look forward to the stories you will bring back to me upon your return. If we ever had a quality together, then it was to go separate ways in life for a few days, just to return to enrich ourselves in new thoughts and experiences.
Dear newly-anointed boyfriend. I love you. Your way of getting totally engulfed in what you do, of losing your head and finding it again, of courting me, of once gain surprising me with your clear thinking whenever I thought you totally uninterested in the subject. I adore the way you always strive for perfection in everything you do, and mourn the way you let it hamper you when you feel that you donapos;t meet your own standards. I love your sweetness, the goodness in you, the way you readily accept the quirks and oddities of your friends and close ones.� And, I adore your body. Shallow as it may seem, I revel in your touch and closeness, the way you can be casually naked with me, both in mind and body.
Dear lover. I love you. Your calm way of caressing me, your integrity, your manners. No one has ever made me feel so safe, and yet so totally lost, as if I didnapos;t knew what carried me, but only felt the raw strength of it. Your sharpness, your slow, clear intelligence and outsider perspective on life and its virtues will always be the things about you that I love the most. You have let me in, let me see a part of you usually shrouded in mystery. I am open for everyone to read, you are not. I am grateful for what you have chosen to show me, and rest assured that nothing of it has shocked me, or left me anything but deeper in love with you.�
Dear blonde angel. I love you. You will probably never read this, ever, but if you do, remember that there is a closeness between us that no time or space can erase, in our shared experiences, our way of pushing each other to new depths of insight and comfort (not necessarily at the same time). I need your words, your way of making me find myself through you. I canapos;t see that as anything but marvellous.
Dear dark knight. I love you. The way you make me force my way into your thoughts, the way we connect and disconnect just to find each other again when the time is right, the balcony dark and the cigarettes glowing. We have a long road to wander together in calmness. There is time. Never, ever doubt it.
Dear Valkyrie. I love you. Time has thrown us together and apart, but we always seem to find a new point of juncture. Trust me on this. Our differences will always be our greatest strength and our greatest source of conflict, but I cherish the way we look at life differently, only to find new points where we meet and connect. It enriches me, and I believe it is something dear to you as well.
Dear brother. I love you. You are not the kind of person who usually inspires one to say this out loud, but perhaps that it just one more reason to do it. Sometimes, I think that you might be the most rock-steady and stable person I know, no matter how you jest about what you percieve as shortcomings. The casual, everyday warmth in you is something I treasure, your company, just sitting in the couch chatting away about whatever as I sit and do stitch-work next to you, listening with slight smile on my face. You really care about people. If they donapos;t realise it, then itapos;s their loss.
Thank you, all of you, for being there and letting me love you. This is the stuff life is made of.
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